Is this a parody page?
Yes of course it is!
So what happened to the "real" Backing Fracking page?
What "real" Backing Fracking page might that be then?
A year ago the "real" Backing Fracking started a crowd funder on www.crowdfunder.com /
The aim of the fundraising was (and still is) very clearly stated:
We're campaigning in support of fracking, and need help raising funds for a website, some flyers and other expenses to help us get going!
We'll use your donations to create a website and resources such as flyers and other literature that put fracking into perspective. We want to be able to connect shale gas supporters from all walks of life, and bring them together to show local councillors, MPs and government that we believe in shale gas and want to see it go ahead for the benefit of communities everywhere.
Over the course of 6 weeks they claim to have raised £1,100 - that's a significant sum of cash - mostly from anonymous donors (how surprising!) but quite enough to fund the creation of a website we'd say.
Isn't it strange that those behind the Backing Fracking group are the prime movers in criticising Friends of the Earth for their methods of fund-raising?
If you know of anybody who has seen a flyer or a website do let us know! We'd just love to know what all that cash got spent on. Those "other expenses" must have been pretty hefty!
Anyway we thought we'd give them a hand by setting up this website for them at absolutely no cost whatsoever.
What we can't understand here though is why they needed to collect cash at all. After all Ken Wilkinson, one of their most vocal supporters, claims to be perfectly capable of setting up a web site as we can see here on his Fly Ubley website, where, incidentally, he takes great delight in "doxxing" a group of people he is campaigning against here. He provides home addresses, phone numbers and emails for 4 different people he wants his friends to target.
It's a funny old world isn't it when the same sad old man tries to bully people who merely mention the town he lives in, by threatening police action, visits from Special Branch and action via the Information Commissioner's Office?
Given Centrica's closeness to Mr P we thought we'd send him a Valentine card!
A couple of weeks ago we rather pompously published some "Rules of Engagement". A number of you pointed out that we didn't have a hope in Hell of managing to keep to them and you were right. As a result we have now published a new set of rules which should prove less challenging to Michael, Lee and Ken. Let us know how they get on on Facebook and Twitter please!
We've decided that Francis Egan needed a bit of a makeover, so we brought in image consultant Ivana Frackov all the way from New York, where she has been advising Donald Trump on his hair maintenance. Ivana decided that Frankie's "macho but knackered" look needed softening up a little and suggested that a less overtly pro-fracking image would play better with locals for obvious reasons.
She came up with this attractive new look for the head honcho. What do you think? I don't know about you Barb but he now looks wired to me and that badge is going to be de rigeur in the Spring 17 collections!
Cuadrilla would like to point out that the recent incident where a van reversed into two staff and one protector was absolutely nothing to do with them as this video clearly shows
We are delighted to be able to announce an exciting new vacancy which has arisen at Cuadrilla's Preston new Road site
Apply now and you could be lounging round in a field by the end of the week. If you snooze you lose!
We would like to humbly apologise to prominent fraud solicitor Philip Spicer for suggesting that he has been struck off by the Solicitors' Regulatory Authority
We acknowledge that there is not one jot nor scintilla of truth in our wild accusation and hope that we haven't awakened his interest in our own activities. That could be really awkward for us couldn't it?
Oh hang on ... oh no - he's gone and done it again.
Will no one rid me of this turbulent priest?
Oh no it gets worse - with this lack of attention to detail it must be Ken on the keyboard today and he's only gone and made things 100 times worse by bringing our idiocy to the attention of all the journos he's tagged.
If only he'd not made that stupid mistake in the first place, or if he'd paid attention when it was pointed out and apologised we wouldn't be frantically trying to dig ourselves out of the hole by deleting tweets now!
We would like to apologise in advance to our more cerebrally challenged supporters, who enjoyed our constant ad hominem attacks and post truth rants, but we are now going to have to reduce the volume of our output.
Michael is going to have to tone it down for a bit now he's upset the Church of England do badly with his Justin Welby meme; Ken is sulking after not having his lengthy complaints to the IET and ASA treated with the seriousness he thinks he deserves; Steve is very busy trying to get Councillors to write to the BBC
If we stop all of the unpleasant stuff we'll be able to reduce our Tweets and Facebook output by about 99.5%. As we only have a handful of regular readers and most of them are anti-frackers laughing at us, this won't have much impact on anything at all, but it will allow us to make pious statements every now and then as long as people don't check back to see the sort of thing we used to say
And as for you people who have said we haven't got a cat in Hell's chance of living up to this new set of "rules" for more than a couple of days. Just you wait you feckless, jobless anti-capitalist Putin loving idiots. We'll show you!
Update - 5th February 2017 - We knew giving Kenny and Michael the keys to the castle was going to be a problem.
Please email us at firstname.lastname@example.org if you think we have made utter hypocritical idiots of ourselves again
When it's a matter of life or death, every second counts, so #fracking companies beware: traffic measures while you build your pads could cost lives
The last thing the emergency services need when they're rushing to attend a fire, or road traffic collision, or someone that's collapsed and isn't breathing, are hold-ups due to frack pad construction on the A583 in Lancashire or the A169 in North Yorkshire.
Those extra minutes sat battling through the additional traffic disruption your construction is likely to cause could be vital and may cost someone their life.
Imagine how a local resident is going to feel, learning that their loved one could have been saved if it weren't for YOUR frack pad construction? Imagine how YOU would feel, knowing that YOUR ACTIONS may have contributed to someone's death because you'd delayed the emergency services? Now imagine that person is YOUR loved one, how do you think that would feel? By all means do what you have a legal right to do, but causing unnecessary traffic disruption and delays to emergency responders, and endangering lives in the process, will be unforgivable.
Given our failure to attract significant grass roots support we have decided that a new, more proactive approach to dealing with those who disagree with us is required.
Learning from the playbook of other revolutionary organisations our more radical members have started calling on us to firebomb and shoot protestors or use lorries as weapons
Accordingly, we have decided that it may be appropriate to start using a new logo. What do you think of this for starters?
Let us know by emailing email@example.com
After extensive research by Ken and Michael we have now published our estimates for employment from fracking in the UK on our Facebook page. Please note that this does include all direct, indirect and induced employment
Our research suggests a total of 23 FTE equivalent jobs will be created by fracking in the North West. This is only slightly less than the 26 suggested by Cuadrilla for their exploration wells in their planning applications. We are delighted to tell you that there will only be 10 barrels of flowback fluid to dispose of so everything is fine.
Need to get your #fracking protest Facebook group membership up? Simple, just use multiple identifies like Jim Georges, Michael Roberts and Ken Wilkinson do!
We've been watching the number of members on Blackpool Fracking for a Better Future decline steadily over the last few months - it seems that, with a Facebook group, existing members can add other Facebook users whether they want to be members or not, but the fact that the numbers drop as well as rise suggests that some of the people being added against their will are removing themselves shortly afterwards. That's about half of the 666 they had within a week or so of setting up the group. Oops!
It's our guess that the people behind this group, Backing Fracking, FORGERY and others, are adding local Facebook users to make it look like they enjoy the support of local residents but that these residents quickly remove themselves because they don't actually support fracking.
We had hoped to be able to watch a local grandmother being metaphorically torn apart by the wild beasts of the legal process.
However, things didn't work out quite the way Cuadrilla, the Vaudeville Vicar, or the rest of us had planned.
Press reports and video of the event showed hundreds of people converging on Preston law courts which we had hoped would be a modern day Colosseum, but which turned out instead to be a stage on which this farce was finally played out in front of a huge crowd.
Ken struggled valiantly to undermine the turnout, and confirmed to the world at large that he has neither any arithmetic competence, self awareness or sense of irony.
Back at Backing Fracking Towers the Risible Reverend tried to console Ken by quoting Job 32:7 "Those who are older should speak, for wisdom comes with age." but it's clear from our Facebook page that God's gifts are only selectively granted. It seems to have worked for Tina though. Perhaps we should take some lessons from her?
We now have to work out how to salvage Cuadrilla's reputation from this sorry mess, so if you see us spinning like demented tops, don't be surprised!
"Until next time!" as our late Aunty used to say on her ludicrous blog
There has been a bit of a storm about a school that included a reference to anti-frackers as potential extremists to be watched as though they were ISIS. This was rather embarrassing for the police and the government and they have tried hard to defuse the issue, with Baroness Williams claiming that “Prevent training does not include any reference to participation in anti-fracking groups.”.
The affair had been blowing over until Michael felt the urge to be a bit clever (again) and posted a picture of a slide apparently used in Prevent training by Merseyside Police
We know it was him because of the bad grammar and we have had a word with him, but the damage is done (again)
We are delighted to bring you a new game for Christmas.
Every time you see one of the statistics on this card mentioned you can cross of the square. Send your completed entries to BackingFracking@outlook.com and the winner may receive a black tracksuit and a zero hours contract as a security guard. (If there are any vacancies.)
Lancashire Bullshit Tracker
As at 30th November 2016
On #LancashireDay we call on Lancashire residents everywhere to seize the opportunities that rejecting #fracking can bring.
Lancashire has a proud tradition of not letting those namby-pamby numpties at Westminster take us for a ride. The county is already filled with manufacturing excellence and engineering prowess and businessmen intelligent enough to spot a crock of shit when it is wafted under their noses.
Now, it has an opportunity to be at the forefront of rejecting the government's imposition a new shale gas industry, because Lancahire folk aren't taken in by the PR rubbish about providing home-grown gas to the nation and creating jobs and new opportunities for Lancashire people and businesses.
We mustn't allow a tiny but vocal minority - backed by professional PR agencies in London - to ruin our county and damage the life chances of people in industries like tourism and agriculture in places like Blackpool and Preston.
Without CCS UK shale gas, cannot help reduce our dependency on high CO2 coal in electricity generation in order to reduce climate emissions and improve air quality. Don't let them fool you by wheeling out has been turn-coat rennt-a-quote greens to tell you it can.
It can't contribute to improved energy security either or increase tax receipts for the government to spend on things like the NHS. You do remember those Brexit promises don't you?
On #LancashireDay, it's time to rise up and start Not Backing Fracking to protect:
Lancashire and renewables can do all that and more. Be #proud, #LoveLancashire and start #NotBackingFracking. Tell them where to stick their shale gas and then offer to light it for them. #LancashireNotForShale
Here at BackingFracking we like to help so when Michael showed how he's struggling to understand fracking we leaped into action
Got it yet Michael?
We thought Michael couldn't embarrass us any further with his unworldy disregard for the realities of mammon but he's gone and done it again.
It's bad enough when he makes us look as though none of us have a clue how companies work in the real world, but we really are going to have to consider changing the password yet again now.
Michael is obviously befuddled so we think it was very unkind of Simon Ford to have taken advantage of a silly old man's obvious confusion in this way.
Following a rather embarrassing episode in which our Dumb and Dumber tag team rather ill-advisedly accused a prominent anti-fracker on Facebook of falsifying his limited company accounts to hide payments from Russia, we are hoping that one of our supporters might chip in with a donation so we can afford this book.
(Note - donations may not actually be used for the purpose stated - see above).
We do now realise that a variation in year end accounts receivable is not in fact grounds to suggest that either payments from Russia were channeled through the books of a limited company or that a leading firm of chartered accountants committed fraud, as was clearly suggested in our Facebook post and in Ken Wilkinson's subsequent reply
We have now got over our shock at Ken Wilkinson admitting that he posts definitive statements about things which are well beyond his understanding. Maybe the book on the right might also prove useful to him?
We do hope that Facebook's threat to remove our Facebook "Community" (LOL) Page in its entirety if we do this again wasn't a serious one.
Once we have read the accounting book we will do our best to explain to you how an industry with costs higher than its potential revenues can be viable in the UK.
We were thrilled to hear Stephen Tindale, once a fairly prominent Green, but now Associate Fellow at the Centre for European Reform, explaining why fracking for shale gas is such a jolly good idea on The Daily Politics yesterday about 48:50 in.
Unfortunately Stephen came up against a much better prepared Tina Rothery who owned him because he only really has one answer and its not a very convincing one.
And perhaps he was a bit tired again.
You've probably all heard of the marvellous employment opportunities which fracking brings in its wake.
Lancashire for Sale are delighted to announce our new venture - "Frackers" Gentleman's Club. If you fancy being "Preston" by our fracktastic lovelies get yourself down to Bamber Bridge!
Sadly Frankie, our star artiste, may have to go home to Ireland once Article 50 is invoked, so if any of you would like a zero hours contract in the fracking supply chain let us know and we'll see how you measure up to the Tipperary Tempter.
We don't REALLY believe that all those nice, normal people protesting in the Fylde are secretly raging communists but we do like to try to muddy the water a bit when we can.
Maybe suggesting that Russian actors are funding anti-fracking groups is stretching it just a bit though? But hey! If we really pushed this drama theme we could claim that Frack Free Lancashire have been getting the odd Checkov the Ruskies?
And honestly - we asked Mad Rev to do one thing - look after the Facebook page for a day, and we come back and find he's been on the communion wine again and has posted such a lot of old drivel that everyone is laughing at us - conspiracy theories about Russia, links to Ken's mogadon fest in Harrogate, rants about Josh Fox (For Fox sake we aren't supposed to give him publicity your loon!).
And the response from our team has been dire! I don't know about special payments from the Ruskies, but if you lot want to get your little sweeteners from the PR company this month you'd better shape up!
We believe that blocking people on Twitter is a cowardly thing to do. It is clearly a sign of being scared of somebody's arguments and ashamed of your own as we make clear here:
This is clearly why we have blocked the Refracktion Twitter account and also blocked its author from commenting on our Facebook page.
We do like to be consistent!
The PR bills were getting a bit heavy, so as a cost saving measure we have now given admin rights to our Facebook account to the Risible Reverend and Clockwork Ken. We appreciate that this means that the quality of our postings will be even more dire, with grammar and spelling at sub-GCSE level, but times are hard and the pair of them do come cheap. In fact they will say just about anything for attention.
If it all gets too awful let us know and we'll try to get the intern back again.
We are looking for help with a campaign of civil disobedience and trespass that one of our members wants to take part in.
If you have any advice to give to Ken Wilkinson on either topic please feel free to contact us.
Are you listening Vladimir?>
We are sick and tired of the people who are supporting child killer and genocide promoter Vladimir Putin, and doing his work for him. He stands to gain from the sad, yet threatening opposition to a perfectly sorted technology. He needs stupid Europeans to follow the antifrack nonsense so they will buy his gas and he can send more barrel bombs to Syria.
Centrica has signed gas contracts with Russia's Gazprom - a move which will give Britain a much higher exposure to Russian-sourced gas and comes despite European Union pressure to reduce the region's dependence on Russian gas due to frosty relations with President Vladimir Putin over the conflict in Ukraine
As a result we have no hesitation in calling for our supporters (yes all 20 of you!) to boycott Cuadrilla's partner in PEDL 165, Centrica. After all we can't accuse all the anti-frackers of being funded by Putin and then ignore what Cuadrilla's backers are up to can we?
Now that Sajid has spoken we are daft enough to think we're home and dry so we made a little video to crow at the anti-frackers
We apologise for any further inconvenience caused by the recent malfunction of our bots. It seems to have spread to the Jimbot now too. We hope it won't affect all of the multiple IDs used by the Jimbot (BackingFracking, Jim Georges, Bard Welsh, Hballpeen, Brad Welsh, Hballpeenyahoo and any others we may not know about yet) and we hope to resume normal PR functions before too long
In future we commit to checking the "facts" that we get hold of by stalking local people, and we promise we won't make any further unwarranted accusations about local residents. We acknowledge that by doing so yesterday we have totally undermined our own credibility and made ourselves look like incompetent tosspots (again).
We apologise to our couple of dozen followers for any embarrassment this may have caused and promise that the braying chimp that got us into this mess won't be allowed near the Facebook account's new password (for at least a week or two).
Was that the doorbell? Ah Good Morning officer!
As a convenience to our supporters we have now installed automatic speech playback machines in public lavatories throughout Lancashire.
Supporters can now enjoy the highlights of our rallies in the comfort of their local cludgie.
As we only have a couple of hundred people prepared to follow us on Twitter and Facebook we obviously have to rely on sockpuppets.
We have some good ones - The "hballpeenyahoocom", "bard welsh", "brad welsh", "jim georges", "hballpeen" one has so many IDs on social media that we can't even keep up ourselves!
However, with the decision on the LCC appeal imminent, we need to pretend to have some local support, so we were lucky to be able to attend a sock-puppet making workshop on Sunday
Suggestions for names for the new accounts we put together via @backingfracking please
Next weekend we'll be doing another creative course - this time "How To Make a Spinning Top", to help us in creating our content.
We apologise for any inconvenience caused by the recent malfunction of our Kenbot.
We performed a standard factory settings reset and "normal" service should be resumed shortly.
Update: Normal service now resumed. The Kenbot is back to accusing everybody else of being John Hobson (or Nobson as the delightful old codger likes to call him)
Further Update: It seems the reset was not totally successful. The vitriol injectors are now functioning as normal but the trigger mechanism is still misfiring. We'll work on this and revert when the issues are properly resolved. Thanks
We may have to suspend posting on this web site as we are due in for an operation to reverse our sense of humour bypass.
Given how stupid our condition is making us look yet again we hope that the waiting list for the operation isn't too long.
One of the benefits of being anonymous is that we can have several people posting as "BackingFracking" on our Farcebook and Twatter Accounts. Neat isn't it?
This normally works pretty well until somebody posts in the evening after overdoing it on the communion wine. Then we get these embarrassing, badly-spelled, limp jokes which make us look more than a little childish.
In future we have decided to limit certain people's posting using the account to before the sun is over the yardarm. Got that over there in Garstang? We know it was you because you can't spell "Philip", OK?
And we really must stop confusing the issue by having different people posting using the BackingFracking ID on the same thread. It really is no good me using long words like "eidetic" at the same time as one of you makes a right bed and breakfast of the grammar and capital letters in another post. Use your common sense if you have any and don't post after you've had a few.
Sometimes we get so excited that we don't even now what day it is!
Here is what we posted on Tuesday this week
Those of you who suggest that it looks like maybe we have more than one "wacky backy pioneer" in the group should think again.
Hey and anyway - this proves that we are so clever that can see into the future - everyone else thought that Japanese registered boat belonging to a Swiss based company was docking on Tuesday, but we knew that that lovely wind (that could give us all such clean energy) would stop the boat docking. Michael has a line into somebody who knows these things apparently.
So suck on that anti-fracking brigade
We are not incompetent. Honestly. Even though we don't know what day of the week it is and clearly don't realise this website cost just £5 and took just an hour to put together - It's only one page FFS!
[And honestly - Worried about an anonymous astroturfing group? I don't think so! Do you think he's cross poppets?].
Backing Fracking deplores the way the anti-fracking fraternity espouses violence to achieve their communist, Putin-loving, Qatari-supporting, anti-capitalist, anarchist,
Anonymous - Oh no that us isn't it? agendas.
We are lovely, cuddly, "local residents" and would never condone regulations (even just those of the ASA) being broken or violence even being suggested.
Normally a problem for younger men, this seems to be increasingly afflicting retired obsessive old men.
If you have difficulty in restraining yourself from leaking confidential information and inventing rulings that never happened, you may well be suffering from an embarrassing condition known as senexmiserumitis which results in incontinent dribbling into reporters' ears.
There is not much modern medicine can do for you, but you do have our sympathy.
We know you'll want to fit in with all of the other twenty people when you attend one of our military style demos so we've got a special prize draw for a Backing Fracking uniform for you!
Just donate to our Crowdfunder appeal and you could win your very own Backing Fracking Shell Suit (once we've dealt with those pesky "other expenses" of course).
Terms and conditions apply
We realise that keeping up with news on climate change is very taxing.
In case you are losing sleep over the issues we are delighted to be able to offer you the patented "Tindale Carbon Capture and Snorage" sleep course.
All you need to do is promise to turn up to an event and put the Backing Fracking point of view and "Bingo!" - you'll be so bored with what you were about to say that you will fall asleep.
The anti-fracking movement might have Dame Vivienne Westwood as their celebrity backer, but we'd rather have Stephen any day because he doesn't move very much, so it's far easier to keep tabs on him.
You can even have your picture taken at one of our events with Stephen - just try not to disturb him please.
There's not much going on with fracking at the moment as we don't seem to be able to get our message across very well, but, until we've persuaded the government to ignore local democracy, we can still offer you £7.20 an hour for turning up and boosting our numbers when we need to pretend we have some real grass roots support.
Please note you will have to provide your own black shell suit (see Prize Draw above) and stay at least half an hour at the demo before going to the pub to qualify for payment.
We also have some openings for talented sign-writers. You will need to provide your own white bed sheet (preferably clean), a paint brush and some black paint. Ability to spell words with more than 3 letters a distinct advantage.
Fracking really does bring fantastic employment possibilities doesn't it?
Are you afraid of being judged by others or of being embarrassed all the time? Do you feel extremely fearful and unsure around other people most of the time? Do these worries make it hard for you to do everyday tasks like run errands, or talk to people at work or school?
If so, you may have a type of anxiety disorder called social phobia, also called social anxiety disorder.Backing Fracking have developed a practical therapy available for you. Experts (that's not Ken by the way) say this phobia is best treated with drugs and/or psychotherapy but we at Backing Fracking have developed an experimental treatment involving publicly exposing yourself repeatedly to severe embarrassment. It's a process called desensitisation. All you need to do is come to a few of our "demos" and you will never feel as embarrassed by normal life ever again.
Warning - You may continue to feel anxiety about being on the wrong side of the argument.
Tourism is a major employer in the Fylde - Backing Fracking is excited to be able to reveal that with fracking a whole new supply chain for health protection equipment for visitors could be created.
We also foresee exciting opportunities for anybody involved in legal services, emergency healthcare, and road repairs.
If you want to be part of this vibrant new economy visit our new supply chain portal www.whateverwearecallingitthisyear.com